do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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