I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Randomize
