In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
