Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
