I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize