Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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