i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Randomize
