all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
