I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
