i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
