that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
