You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize