Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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