Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
