chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
