I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
