He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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