Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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