real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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