i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
