Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
