He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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