dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Quick, to the slutcave!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
