just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
