He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
