Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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