I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
