it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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