My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
