I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
you never un-have a 4some
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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