Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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