I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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