kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
