dude i'm inner monologue high
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.