I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I can't turn off my feet"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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