Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.

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  (401): Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars. http://tfl.nu/q4kd
  Replies (29) Good night (1495) Bad night (487)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  are you so shy because you have an std?

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  (403): are you so shy because you have an std? http://tfl.nu/9nrw
  Replies (8) Good night (560) Bad night (3242)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20

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  (919): i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20 http://tfl.nu/xo20
  Replies (72) Good night (5529) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.

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  (631): stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back. http://tfl.nu/3ip5
  Replies (24) Good night (6310) Bad night (1100)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.

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  (217): he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school. http://tfl.nu/g6u7
  Replies (10) Good night (1963) Bad night (3989)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.

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  (217): i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college. http://tfl.nu/qid3
  Replies (8) Good night (3648) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.

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  (203): our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation. http://tfl.nu/5n6h
  Replies (3) Good night (2468) Bad night (1614)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo

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  (630): i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo http://tfl.nu/10yt
  Replies (5) Good night (2605) Bad night (999)
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  (213): View more from California

  The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.

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  (213): The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out. http://tfl.nu/jmae
  Replies (4) Good night (2158) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.

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  (859): I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there. http://tfl.nu/fp94
  Replies (6) Good night (2074) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.

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  (519): I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future. http://tfl.nu/3f9u
  Replies (4) Good night (1298) Bad night (518)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.

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  (414): Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina. http://tfl.nu/fwb5
  Replies (5) Good night (454) Bad night (1328)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker

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  (612): Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker http://tfl.nu/kwb8
  Replies (4) Good night (498) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers

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  (678): im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers http://tfl.nu/b3az
  Replies (10) Good night (1589) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.

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  (870): I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much. http://tfl.nu/q81h
  Replies (0) Good night (327) Bad night (194)

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