Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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