i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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