Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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