Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
