I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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