I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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