can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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