Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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