im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
