Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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