then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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