It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
