Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
