I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
