I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
