Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
