I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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