I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize