he wants to bone in the snuggie
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
