I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It's shark week go big or go home
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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