Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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