It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
