I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
