what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
