How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
