Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
