he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
