I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Vodka?
Forever.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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