Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize