i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
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Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
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My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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