Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
