We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Randomize
