three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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