And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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