Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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